Engage Community Church

Background Noise…living proof of our need for hope.
Week 4: Hope in Relationships
February 28, 2010
Pastor Jon Hand
Luke 14:25-34

Listen to Sermon: Hope in Relationships

1 Peter 3:1-5
Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands,

1 Corinthians 7:12-16
To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

Questions for you to ponder during today’s talk.

1. What hope do these passages offer for our relationships, if our hope is in God?
2. How do these passages challenge our typical views of relationships?

Getting Started
While God intended our relationships with others to be wonderful and beautiful experiences, sin often enters in and distorts them, sometimes to the point of breaking them. The problem is that sin shifts the locus of our identity from God to ourselves or to others.

1. Consider the person whose identity is wrapped up in another person. What motivates her? What is her primary concern? How would you describe this person? What kind of problems does this attitude create in relationships?
2. Consider the person who is self-sufficient and doesn’t need anyone else. What motivates him? What is his primary concern? How would you describe this person? What kind of problems does this attitude create in relationships?

From the Book

1. Read Matthew 10:37-39. What is Jesus saying to the person who locates their identity in another person? What is Jesus saying to the person who is living for himself?
2. Read Galatians 2:20 and Ephesians 2:1-10. What does it mean to be crucified with Christ? What does it look like to live “by faith in the Son of God” and to be “alive in Christ?” If we lived in this way, what impact would it have on our relationships?
3. Read Colossians 1:3-6a. According to this passage, where did the Colossians’ “love for all the saints” come from? If God were truly the source of our love, what hope would that give us in our relationships? How would it change the self-sufficient person? How would it change the overly dependent person?

So What?

1. ROLE PLAY ACTIVITY: In your community group, count off by threes. All of the ones will play a self-sufficient person, the twos will play a dependent person, and the threes a person whose identity is rooted in God. Pair off with someone who is playing a different role, and then choose one of the following scenarios to role-play: (a) A husband and wife who disagree about the best way to discipline a rebellious child (b) Best friends where one has started dating someone the other thinks is bad for them (c) Siblings - one is more ambitious than the other and is trying to convince them to “do something” with their life.
2. Write down Ephesians 3:16-19 on a small piece of paper. Carry this prayer with you all week, remembering to pray it for yourself and others. Think about the hope you would have for relationships if God were to truly answer this prayer.